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Thema: Chuck Norris Witze

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n4rr0w

19.02.2008 um 21:24

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 2000

NEW

Chuck Norris kann auvch per E-Mail ne Briefbombe senden.

Neo

19.02.2008 um 21:30

Clan: Traumfabrik
Postings: 230

NEW

Chuck Norris gewinnt die Tour de France - ohne Doping!

Chris W.

24.02.2008 um 09:56

Clan: my-exolite.de
Postings: 2

NEW

Was geht einem Gegner von Chuck Norris als letztes durch den Kopf? - Chuck Norris' Fuss

Neo

24.02.2008 um 10:47

Clan: Traumfabrik
Postings: 230

NEW

Es gibt eine feste Ordnung im Universum: Raum, Zeit, Chuck Norris

ist nur Spass, Chuck Norris kommt zuerst.

DeathForce

24.02.2008 um 17:31

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 3057

NEW

Chuck Norris isst kein Honig, er kaut Bienen...
__________________

Neo

24.02.2008 um 17:48

Clan: Traumfabrik
Postings: 230

NEW

Chuck Norris’ Haus hat keine Türen, nur Mauern durch die er läuft.

n4rr0w

24.02.2008 um 18:01

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 2000

NEW

Die Menschen gleuben an Gott!!! Gott allerdings glaubt an Chuck Norris!

Neo

24.02.2008 um 18:03

Clan: Traumfabrik
Postings: 230

NEW

Im 2ten Weltkrieg hat der kleine Chuck mal ein deutsches Flugzeug abgeschossen. Er zeigte mit seinem Finger in den Himmel und schrie "BANG"!

n4rr0w

24.02.2008 um 18:14

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 2000

NEW

Das Attentat auf den amerikanischen Präsidneten wir in den geschichtsbüchern immer falsch beschreiben in wirklichkeit war es so: chuck norris ist mit hilfe eines roundhouse kicks in dioe vergangenheit gerißt und hat mit den zähnen die kugel abgefangen. vor Überrahung ist dem Präsidenten dann allerdingsw der kopf geplatzt!!!

Neo

24.02.2008 um 18:25

Clan: Traumfabrik
Postings: 230

NEW

Beim Bowling wirft Chuck Norris keine Strikes, er haut den äußersten Pin weg, die anderen Neun fallen in Unmacht.

Gnackwatschn

24.02.2008 um 18:38

Clan: Kein Clan
Postings: 3

NEW

Ohnmacht meinst du wohl.
__________________
Wer anderen eine Bratwurst brät, der braucht ein Bratwurst-Bratgerät!

Neo

24.02.2008 um 19:31

Clan: Traumfabrik
Postings: 230

NEW

Hoodlum

28.02.2008 um 10:37

Clan: rwl.FOR.bLocKo
Postings: 11

NEW

Es gibt keine Evolutionstheorie, es gibt nur eine Gewisse Anzahl an Lebewesen den Chuck Norris das Leben gewährt.

Hoodlum

28.02.2008 um 10:38

Clan: rwl.FOR.bLocKo
Postings: 11

NEW

Im Guinessbuch der Rekorde stehen die Personen drin die am nächsten an Chuck Norris dran waren.

Neo

28.02.2008 um 14:13

Clan: Traumfabrik
Postings: 230

NEW

Tsunamis entstehen, wenn Chuck Norris im Ozean seine Runden schwimmt.

Hoodlum

03.03.2008 um 13:05

Clan: rwl.FOR.bLocKo
Postings: 11

NEW

Chuck Norris verstopft die Toilette, auch wenn er nur pinkelt.

Neo

03.03.2008 um 13:48

Clan: Traumfabrik
Postings: 230

NEW

Es gab einmal eine Filmszene in der Chuck Norris gegen Bruce Lee verliert. Diese Szene war der aufwändigste und teuerste visuelle Effekt aller Zeiten. Er kostete mehr als das Bruttosozialprodukt Paraguays.

DataLorD

18.03.2008 um 10:04

Clan: Kein Clan
Postings: 90

NEW

Pferde haben drei Gangarten: Schritt, Trab und Galopp

Chuck Norris hat zwei Gangarten: "Spazierengehen" und "Töten"

[Editiert von DataLorD am 18.Mar.2008 um 10:05]
__________________
in /dev/null hört dich niemand schreien!

Neo

18.03.2008 um 12:11

Clan: Traumfabrik
Postings: 230

NEW

Die meisten Menschen haben 23 Chromosomenpaare. Chuck Norris hat 72 und die sind alle giftig.

Nebukader

24.03.2008 um 16:14

Clan: Kein Clan
Postings: 2

NEW

Chuck Norris kann in runden Räumen in die Ecken kacken

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FORUM::showthread -> check for moderator utils 0.421811 - FORUM::update_visit -> forumid: 5 threadid: 871 posttime: 2008-03-24 16:14:23 0.421875 - GLOBAL::end userspace -> --------------------------------------------- 0.421917 - PAGE::render -> start rendering page layout 0.421924 - styles::getInstance -> do 0.421932 - USER::check_for_new_messages -> return 0.421949 - HTML::template -> template: >page_sitetitle< 0.422025 - dotSession::getInstance -> do 0.422034 - styles::getInstance -> do 0.422117 - HTML::template -> template: >page_topbanner< 0.422173 - PAGE::get_shortmenu -> return 0.422180 - styles::getInstance -> do 0.422186 - dotSession::getInstance -> do 0.422209 - SESSION::anz_onlineuser -> return 0.422220 - dotDatabase::query -> SELECT COUNT(DISTINCT userid, host, useragent) FROM session WHERE lastactivity > 1782974586 0.422514 - dotDatabase::query -> SELECT COUNT(DISTINCT userid, host, useragent) FROM session WHERE lastactivity > 1782974586 AND userid!=0 0.422781 - HTML::template -> template: >page_shortmenu< 0.422867 - PAGE::get_boxes -> -------- side=left 0.422878 - styles::getInstance -> do 0.422886 - GLOBAL::include -> class.cbox.php 0.422918 - dotCommon::classload -> require: /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.cbox.php 0.424309 - PAGE::get_boxes -> -------- call: left::menu_news 0.424332 - CBOX::menu -> generate Menu Box >news< 0.424342 - admin::getInstance -> do 0.424353 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424435 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu< 0.424517 - HTML::template_exists -> search: >page_box_left< == 1 0.424542 - HTML::template -> template: >page_box_left< 0.424615 - PAGE::get_boxes -> -------- call: left::menu_info 0.424630 - CBOX::menu -> generate Menu Box >info< 0.424638 - admin::getInstance -> do 0.424648 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424666 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424680 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424693 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424706 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424719 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424731 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu< 0.424763 - HTML::template_exists -> search: >page_box_left< == 1 0.424783 - HTML::template -> template: >page_box_left< 0.424807 - PAGE::get_boxes -> -------- call: left::menu_lan 0.424818 - CBOX::menu -> generate Menu Box >lan< 0.424826 - admin::getInstance -> do 0.424834 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424853 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424867 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424880 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424892 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424905 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424918 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424931 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.424943 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu< 0.424979 - HTML::template_exists -> search: >page_box_left< == 1 0.424999 - HTML::template -> template: >page_box_left< 0.425021 - PAGE::get_boxes -> -------- call: left::menu_turnier 0.425032 - CBOX::menu -> generate Menu Box >turnier< 0.425040 - admin::getInstance -> do 0.425048 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.425063 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.425079 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.425092 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.425110 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu< 0.425140 - HTML::template_exists -> search: >page_box_left< == 1 0.425158 - HTML::template -> template: >page_box_left< 0.425180 - PAGE::get_boxes -> -------- call: left::menu_communtiy 0.425190 - CBOX::menu -> generate Menu Box >community< 0.425198 - admin::getInstance -> do 0.425206 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.425221 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.425234 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.425246 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu< 0.425279 - HTML::template_exists -> search: >page_box_left< == 1 0.425297 - HTML::template -> template: >page_box_left< 0.425318 - PAGE::get_boxes -> -------- call: left::menu_user 0.425328 - CBOX::menu -> generate Menu Box >login< 0.425335 - admin::getInstance -> do 0.425342 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.425358 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu_bit< 0.425376 - HTML::template -> template: >box_menu< 0.425406 - HTML::template_exists -> search: >page_box_left< == 1 0.425424 - HTML::template -> template: >page_box_left< 0.425450 - HTML::template -> template: >page_content_left< 0.425518 - PAGE::get_boxes -> -------- side=right 0.425527 - styles::getInstance -> do 0.425533 - GLOBAL::include -> class.cbox.php 0.425541 - PAGE::get_boxes -> -------- call: right::login 0.425552 - CBOX::login -> generate Box 0.425565 - HTML::template -> template: >box_login< 0.425679 - HTML::template_exists -> search: >page_box_right< == 1 0.425701 - HTML::template -> template: >page_box_right< 0.425756 - PAGE::get_boxes -> -------- call: right::party 0.425770 - CBOX::party -> generate Box 0.425778 - HTML::template -> template: >box_event_nocurrent< 0.425845 - HTML::template_exists -> search: >page_box_right< == 1 0.425865 - HTML::template -> template: >page_box_right< 0.425884 - PAGE::get_boxes -> -------- call: right::upcomingparty 0.425905 - HTML::template_exists -> search: >page_box_right< == 1 0.425922 - HTML::template -> template: >page_box_right< 0.425941 - PAGE::get_boxes -> -------- call: right::buddylist 0.425952 - CBOX::buddylist -> generate Box 0.425962 - HTML::template -> template: >box_buddylist_notloggedin< 0.426037 - HTML::template_exists -> search: >page_box_right< == 1 0.426057 - HTML::template -> template: >page_box_right< 0.426076 - PAGE::get_boxes -> -------- call: right::forum 0.426086 - CBOX::forum -> generate forum box 0.426093 - CBOX::forum_load_threads -> load data 0.426119 - dotCommon::classload -> require: /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.cache.php 0.426389 - CACHE::get -> cache: >topthreads< found 0.426545 - CBOX::forum_threads -> list all threads in array 0.426560 - FORUM::thread_lastvisit -> threadid: Array 0.426571 - admin::getInstance -> do 0.426616 - HTML::template -> template: >box_forum_bit< 0.426723 - HTML::template -> template: >box_forum_bit< 0.426772 - HTML::template -> template: >box_forum_bit< 0.426811 - HTML::template -> template: >box_forum_bit< 0.426851 - HTML::template -> template: >box_forum_bit< 0.426888 - HTML::template -> template: >box_forum_bit< 0.426925 - HTML::template -> template: >box_forum_bit< 0.426960 - HTML::template -> template: >box_forum_bit< 0.426993 - HTML::template -> template: >box_forum_bit< 0.427026 - HTML::template -> template: >box_forum_bit< 0.427059 - HTML::template -> template: >box_forum_bit< 0.427093 - HTML::template -> template: >box_forum_bit< 0.427120 - HTML::template -> template: >box_forum< 0.427229 - HTML::template_exists -> search: >page_box_right< == 1 0.427253 - HTML::template -> template: >page_box_right< 0.427277 - HTML::template -> template: >page_content_right< 0.427351 - HTML::template -> template: >page_content< 0.427425 - HTML::template -> template: >page_impressum< 0.427478 - HTML::template -> template: >page< 0.427744 - PAGE::render -> final PHP Includes : 27 DB Queries : 19 Rendering Time : 0.428911 Includes PHP Files: - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/forum/index.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/global.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/autoload.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/composer/autoload_real.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/composer/ClassLoader.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/composer/autoload_static.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/nikic/fast-route/src/functions.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/swiftmailer/swiftmailer/lib/swift_required.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/swiftmailer/swiftmailer/lib/classes/Swift.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/symfony/polyfill-ctype/bootstrap.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.dotCommon.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/config.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.dotDatabase.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.page.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.pageextends.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.dotSession.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.user.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.styles.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/html/styles/gsh-lan-grey.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.event.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.admin.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.prvmsg.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.sitzplan.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.forum.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.html.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.cbox.php - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.cache.php

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