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Thema: Chuck Norris Witze
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DeathForce
02.08.2010 um 14:37

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 3057

NEW

Muha jetz werden mal wieder die Chuck Norris Witze ausgergaben

Chuck Norris kann mit einer Dr. Best Zahnbürste eine Tomate zerdrücken!
Nachdem Chuck Norris das Video von "The Ring" sah, klingelte das Telefon und die Stimme sagte "sorry verwählt".

[Editiert von DeathForce am 02.Aug.2010 um 14:38]
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TK
02.08.2010 um 16:59

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 218

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Die Sonne muss blinzeln, wenn sie Chuck Norris ansieht.
__________________

Es ist nicht wahr, dass Computerspiele die Kids beeinflussen.
Hätte Pac Man das getan, würden wir heute durch dunkle Räume irren, Pillen fressen und Elektromusik hören.
 
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TK
02.08.2010 um 17:07

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 218

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Chuck Norris kann Spanier umtreten ohne dafür eine Rote Karte zu bekommen.


__________________

Es ist nicht wahr, dass Computerspiele die Kids beeinflussen.
Hätte Pac Man das getan, würden wir heute durch dunkle Räume irren, Pillen fressen und Elektromusik hören.
 
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DeathForce
02.08.2010 um 18:04

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 3057

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Chuck Norris hat Android auf seinem iPhone
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DeathForce
02.08.2010 um 18:07

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 3057

NEW

Chuck Norris kann Schwarze stifte nach Farbe sortieren
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DeathForce
02.08.2010 um 18:11

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 3057

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Chuck Norris hat mehr kreditkarten als Max Mustermann
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Jango
02.08.2010 um 18:21

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 735

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Deine Mudda
Ich find ja den mit dem Spanier am besten ;-)
Aber nur in Kombination mit dem Video!!
 
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TK
02.08.2010 um 18:58

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 218

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Chuck Norris läuft nicht. Er ist da!
__________________

Es ist nicht wahr, dass Computerspiele die Kids beeinflussen.
Hätte Pac Man das getan, würden wir heute durch dunkle Räume irren, Pillen fressen und Elektromusik hören.
 
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kreative :f
03.08.2010 um 19:13
Clan: Team Organner
Postings: 3

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Wenn Chuck Norris mit einem Mann schläft, dann liegt das nicht daran das er schwul ist.
Es liegt daran das er jede Frau auf dem Planeten schonmal hatte ..... und das zwei mal!
 
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TK
03.08.2010 um 20:01

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 218

NEW


__________________

Es ist nicht wahr, dass Computerspiele die Kids beeinflussen.
Hätte Pac Man das getan, würden wir heute durch dunkle Räume irren, Pillen fressen und Elektromusik hören.
 
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RBH-Bookwood
03.08.2010 um 21:18
Clan: .:PGJ:. PolyGon-Junkeys
Postings: 195

NEW

Chuck Norris kann mit einem boxhandschuh popeln!
__________________
Neulich auf einer LAN.
Hermann: "Robert, hast du den Code für das neue PC Spiel"
Robby: "K4UF-D1R-D45-5P13L-D4NN-H45T-​DU-1HN"
Hermann: "Danke, aber der geht nicht.

Wochen später.
Robby: Du.. ich brach ma ne Serial für Windows -.-
Hermann: F1CKD-1CHUN-DK4UF-350R1-61​N4L
Robby: Geht nicht...
 
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TK
03.08.2010 um 23:34

Clan: Gamesession Hannover
Postings: 218

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Chuck Norris ist so abschreckend. Als man ihn neulich im Garten als Vogelscheuche aufgestellt hat, haben die Vögel aus Angst die Kirschen aus dem Vorjahr zurückgebracht.
__________________

Es ist nicht wahr, dass Computerspiele die Kids beeinflussen.
Hätte Pac Man das getan, würden wir heute durch dunkle Räume irren, Pillen fressen und Elektromusik hören.
 
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ShangFu*DDS*
06.08.2010 um 02:16
Clan: D-Day-Soldiers
Postings: 65

NEW

- Es gibt feindliche Aliens , sie warten nur bis Chuck Norris gestorben ist damit sie angreifen können!

- Wenn Du Chuck Norris bei Google suchst, kommt die Antwort: You won´t find Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris will find YOU !!!
Google Suche

- Sido hat mal gefragt, wer Chuck Norris ist ....
seitdem trägt Sido eine Maske

- Chuck Norris ist so heiß, er brennt seine CD´s mit seinem Atem.

- Chuck Norris furtzt nicht, chernobyl soll eine einmalige sache bleiben.

- Wenn es aussieht wie Huhn, schmeckt wie Huhn und riecht wie Huhn, aber Chuck Norris sagt es ist Rind, dann ist ES VERDAMMT NOCHMAL RIND!

[Editiert von ShangFu*DDS* am 06.Aug.2010 um 02:17]
 
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 ------------------- 

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0.408467 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.408472 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408482 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408489 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408496 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408502 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408509 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408516 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu<
0.408531 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_left< == 1
0.408542 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_left<
0.408554 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: left::menu_lan
0.408560 - CBOX::menu                   -> generate Menu Box >lan<
0.408563 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.408568 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408578 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408588 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408595 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408602 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408608 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408615 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408622 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408628 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu<
0.408647 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_left< == 1
0.408656 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_left<
0.408668 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: left::menu_turnier
0.408673 - CBOX::menu                   -> generate Menu Box >turnier<
0.408677 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.408681 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408689 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408700 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408707 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408713 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu<
0.408728 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_left< == 1
0.408737 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_left<
0.408750 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: left::menu_communtiy
0.408756 - CBOX::menu                   -> generate Menu Box >community<
0.408760 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.408764 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408772 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408779 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408785 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu<
0.408801 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_left< == 1
0.408810 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_left<
0.408821 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: left::menu_user
0.408827 - CBOX::menu                   -> generate Menu Box >login<
0.408830 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.408834 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408842 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu_bit<
0.408849 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_menu<
0.408866 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_left< == 1
0.408876 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_left<
0.408887 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_content_left<
0.408944 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- side=right
0.408948 - styles::getInstance          -> do
0.408952 - GLOBAL::include              -> class.cbox.php
0.408956 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: right::login
0.408962 - CBOX::login                  -> generate Box
0.408982 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_login<
0.409029 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_right< == 1
0.409040 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_right<
0.409066 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: right::party
0.409072 - CBOX::party                  -> generate Box
0.409077 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_event_nocurrent<
0.409108 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_right< == 1
0.409118 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_right<
0.409128 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: right::upcomingparty
0.409139 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_right< == 1
0.409148 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_right<
0.409157 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: right::buddylist
0.409163 - CBOX::buddylist              -> generate Box
0.409168 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_buddylist_notloggedin<
0.409200 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_right< == 1
0.409210 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_right<
0.409219 - PAGE::get_boxes              -> -------- call: right::forum
0.409225 - CBOX::forum                  -> generate forum box
0.409228 - CBOX::forum_load_threads     -> load data
0.409242 - dotCommon::classload         -> require: /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.cache.php
0.409379 - CACHE::get                   -> cache: >topthreads< found
0.409464 - CBOX::forum_threads          -> list all threads in array
0.409472 - FORUM::thread_lastvisit      -> threadid: Array
0.409478 - admin::getInstance           -> do
0.409498 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.409550 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.409575 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.409595 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.409615 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.409634 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.409653 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.409671 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.409688 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.409705 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.409722 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.409739 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum_bit<
0.409750 - HTML::template               -> template: >box_forum<
0.409800 - HTML::template_exists        -> search: >page_box_right< == 1
0.409812 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_box_right<
0.409826 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_content_right<
0.409860 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_content<
0.409893 - HTML::template               -> template: >page_impressum<
0.409924 - HTML::template               -> template: >page<
0.410073 - PAGE::render                 -> final

PHP Includes   : 27
DB Queries     : 19
Rendering Time : 0.410621

Includes PHP Files: 
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/forum/index.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/global.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/autoload.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/composer/autoload_real.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/composer/ClassLoader.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/composer/autoload_static.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/nikic/fast-route/src/functions.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/swiftmailer/swiftmailer/lib/swift_required.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/swiftmailer/swiftmailer/lib/classes/Swift.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/vendor/symfony/polyfill-ctype/bootstrap.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.dotCommon.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/config.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.dotDatabase.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.page.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.pageextends.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.dotSession.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.user.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.styles.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/html/styles/gsh-lan-grey.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.event.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.admin.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.prvmsg.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.sitzplan.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.forum.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.html.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.cbox.php
 - /www/htdocs/w01a41dd/testlive.gsh-lan.com/www/includes/class.cache.php